It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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