i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I have aggressive nipples.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
