Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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