kristin has been a bad kristin
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
