you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
