I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
