I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
