Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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