You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
