if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Randomize
