I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
