why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
