That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
