honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
