I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
