I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
