So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
