member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
