everyone is single if you try hard enough
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
