hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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