whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize