butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
