he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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