how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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