Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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