so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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