well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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