So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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