You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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