Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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