She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
