I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
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