Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
