if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
