You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
