have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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