Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
