ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize