i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
