She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Four minutes until I can fart!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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