since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
