I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
