Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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