so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
