thus making me awesome and them whores
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
