i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
