Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
