so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
