after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
