if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just gift wrapped bread.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
