she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
