I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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