Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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