if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
