Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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