Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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