just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize