I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize