Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Can you bring me the toilet please
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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